"Furt" solidified my love for Glee and for Finn Hudson (and, by extension, Cory Monteith) and I began using my tumblr to blog about the show and about the characters and the music and the fictional relationships. I followed, like, three hundred blogs about the show and began to participate in the online fandom.
It was such an odd part of my life. I had never loved a television show the way I loved Glee. Sure, in the seventh grade I was totes into Gilmore Girls and chatted about it idly with my friends at school, but up until my junior year (when my Glee craze began), I only watched TV casually.
Glee made me happy. Talking about it made me happy. Reading (I can't believe I'm admitting this to people who read my blog IRL) and later writing fanfiction made me happy. It was such a happy time in my life - even when things on the show were so upsetting (AKA Finn and Rachel broke up, Quinn and Finn started dating, Sam was poor).
I was obsessed. Cory Monteith became my celebrity crush and I spent the summer before my senior year reveling in the show. I rewatched the end of the season two finale a billion times and I was ready to join Finn and Rachel and Kurt and the gang in their (and MY!!!!!!) senior year.
Glee gave me so much. I met some of my best friends by way of tumblr and fic and Skype and twitter, all thanks to our love for Glee, and more specifically, for Finn and Rachel. I am so thankful to Glee for giving me that - people who really get me, who care enough to check in and talk to me every single day or to message me and ask how I'm doing when I've been distant for awhile. I've never had friends like this before. My high school friends are all babes and there was a time that we got to talk every single day, but being in separate universities has confined us to our own planets, and we never really talk when we're away at school (which is fine, of course, since it gives us so much to talk about during the summers and breaks).
When I found out Cory died, it sort of struck me that something had ended - Cory's life, of course - but something else, something more personal. Glee was my adolescence, and thanks to Cory, it was so, so beautiful and filled with so much love and SO many kind words from strangers who read my work and believed in me - I've never gotten that kind of a response to my writing before. I became a better writer and a better, smarter person, and it's all because of Glee.
But now it's over and it's time for me to grow up, spend a little less time thinking about the fictional and plant my roots in reality. I will always love Glee, but this season just won't be the same. For me, Cory and Finn were the heart of the show, and with him gone, it just won't be the same for me.